Literal Uncertainty: 2 years

Exactly two years ago, I was leaving the US after 3 years, with a 55l backpack and a day pack, heading to Southeast Asia without a clue on what would happen next.

Today, I’m still embracing uncertainty not knowing what’s next, but certain that that ticket I bought to Bangkok, two years ago, was one of the best purchases I’ve made in my whole life.

During the second year of embracing the groundlessness of life and not having a place to call ‘home’ for more than a couple of weeks, I spent some time back in my home country and visited 12 others, I landed in Africa for the first time, went on a breathtaking (literally) trekking looking at the Aconcagua, met some of my best friends in random places,went back to Europe, spent 10 days meditating in silence, got my motorbike drivers license.

Instead of writing about my adventures, I’ve decided to answer some of the questions people keep asking me about my nomadic ‘lifestyle’. If you’d like to ask me something that is not listed below, just shoot me a message or leave a comment and I’ll be happy to answer.

Literal Uncertainty has been an amazing ride, and I’m thankful for all the incredible people who have been riding along with me. I wouldn’t be able to do it without all of you.

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When did you realize you wanted to live like this?

I didn’t fully realize until recently. However, now that I look back at my life, I notice that I’ve always known I have a need to be in constant movement. When people asked me the ‘what you wanna be when you grow up?’ question, my answer used to be ‘a truck driver’. The truck driver makes me think of flows – of people, of goods, of money, and, why not, of places. Flow is movement. The truck driver is also about movement, about going to places, meeting new people, seeing changes in landscapes, trying different food. In college I studied Geography and International Relations, always thinking about a truck driver kind of life – one day here, another there, then somewhere else. I guess I always knew I wanted to live in a constant flow, but only recently I had the courage to try it for myself.

How do you choose where to go next?

It really depends. Rationally, two main aspects help me decide:

1) Work. It was through work that I ended up in Angola (and loved it!) and the Philippines. When I don’t need to be in a specific location for field work but need to do a lot of online research or have conference calls, I choose places with better communications infrastructure (i.e. internet connection), such as Cape Town and Maputo. If I only need to write a report, I end up going to pretty calm and relaxed places – preferably by the beach or next to a river – being near water keeps my pisces soul calm and inspired.

2) Friends and Family. I often choose places where I have friends or family, because it’s always helpful to have a place to stay and a local contact while figuring out things to do in a particular country. That’s how I ended up in SE Asia. One of my best friends from grad school is Thai and we used to joke that if I couldn’t get a job in the US I would go to Bangkok and stay with her. That’s exactly what I did. Once there, I was adopted by her family (and vice-versa) who hosted me for a few weeks while I was acclimatizing to this new part of the world. Weddings are also a great excuse to catch a flight and visit a new country 🙂 This year, weddings took me to South Africa and Austria, and family was the excuse I needed to spend a few days in Italy.

Although work, friends and family are important part of my ‘where to go next’ decision making process, I must say that most of my movement around the globe has been based, so far, in Intuition. I find it hard to explain in words such an intangible factor, but this is the truth.

In 2016, intuition sent me to Southeast Asia and it ended up being the best decision ever, as it deeply changed me and the way I see and live my life. After a short period back in Brazil, I was ready to make a move and explore the world again. Even though I was dying to go back to Laos (and still am), I had a feeling it was time for Africa. I then headed to South Africa for a friend’s wedding and to visit another friend in Cape Town , where I ended up networking with people who recommended me for the project in Angola.

How do you afford this lifestyle?

Most people think I earn and spend tons of money. Let me tell you a secret… I spend less money traveling than when I was living in Sao Paulo, or in Boston. I travel on a budget, I don’t stay in fancy places, I don’t buy fancy clothes (by the way, I have a rule that I can only add things to my bag if I take things out, simple as that), I try to use public transportation whenever possible. I avoid alcohol (trust me, it’s going to make a huuuuge difference on your travel expenses if you stop drinking when traveling), I stay with friends when possible.

Oh, you want to know where my money comes from? I work. Yes, it is possible to work and travel at the same time. It’s not a 9-5 job and you need to be comfortable with not knowing how much money you’ll make next month, and very good in managing whatever amount you have in your bank account, but it works!

I’ve met people who travel full-time on a budget, and I admire them. I must admit that I sometimes need some comfort, like a foot massage, or get my nails done, or a really nice meal at a nice restaurant. Recently I needed a calm place to stay for a week, where I could relax while thinking about my life, about where to go and what to do next, a place where I could just stay with myself without worrying about my roommate, or food, or whatever. This place cost me more than what I’m used to spend, but I made a conscious decision to spend more, and it was 100% worth it.

Can you/do you sometimes find it hard to move between places?

Sometimes I do, especially when I need to leave a place I became very fond of. Recently, I had a hard time deciding where to go after Mozambique. Not because I didn’t know where, but because I really wanted to stay longer and explore more of the country. Unfortunately I couldn’t extend my visa and left the country one day before it expired.

What’s your most important piece of luggage you couldn’t get through a trip without?

I wish I could write something else, more poetic, romantic and less techy, but I need to be honest here. It is my smartphone. In my phone I have offline maps (with Maps.me), apps to help me find accommodation (Couchsurfing, Booking.com, Airbnb, Hostelworld, Agoda), apps to search for budget tickets (Hopper, Momondo, Skyscanner, and a few others), currency exchange (Currency XE), translator (Google, you saved me in Vietnam!), WhatsApp to communicate with family and friends. In addition, I’ve got a mobile plan that gives me unlimited data and messaging in most countries plus calls at an affordable rate in case I need to make or receive urgent calls. Another point is that a phone with a nice camera can be very handy, especially in places where I don’t feel comfortable showing off my camera.

If I couldn’t get through a trip without it? I’m sure I could, but it makes things easier and makes me feel safer.

What life routines/systems you maintain/find helpful when you’re traveling?

I try to meditate as often as possible – sometimes I meditate more, sometimes less, but it’s always on my mind and I find it very, VERY helpful to keep my mind and body happy with all the movement. I also have specific routines in specific places. For example, when in Cape Town I go to yoga almost every day, sometimes twice a day.

Not sure it’s a routine, but I consider this a system that I find very helpful: I have a packing system. I have colored packing bags in 3 different sizes, and since I started traveling 2 years ago, I follow almost the same packing system. Bottoms in the large black bag; tops in the large red; underwear, socks (1 pair only, I hate socks!), scarfs, in the medium red; linen, headlamp, towel, etc., in the medium black; chords, chargers in the small red; watercolor, painting stuff, notebook, in the small black. In addition, a white bag for my three pairs of shoes, and toiletries. I place them in the same order inside my backpack and I find it helps me keep track of everything – if there’s something missing it’s easier to notice. It’s also easier to find something without having to open everything in the middle of a bus station.

What kind of foods do you look for that make you feel good?

Food. Hahaha! This is a very good question! I have a few restrictions and I know I’m at my best when I stick to them, but I LOVE food and I LOVE trying local flavors. Where I felt healthier was in Southeast Asia. I could definitely live on noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

In general, I try to go for what the locals eat – if not too adventurous for me (i.e. insects and frogs in Laos). I try to avoid fried food (must confess french fries in Angola were unavoidable), and alcohol. When it comes to food, however, exception is my best friend.

Have you found places that you just don’t like – that for one reason or another you’re not liking?

I have. The reasons for not liking are pretty random. I did’t like Johannesburg, in South Africa – if I can say that after spending only 3 days there – and would need a very good reason to go back to spend more time. I didn’t feel safe (and hey, I’m from Brazil) and there was a social tension in the air that made me very uncomfortable. Also didn’t like Vang Vieng, in Laos from the moment I got there (yep, it is possible not to like a place in Laos). The ‘young foreigners get drunk and party’ vibe didn’t work with my personal vibe and I couldn’t wait to leave.

I have learned, though, that the time I spend in places really affects my “liking” bar. I recently visited Vilanculos, in Mozambique, and didn’t feel comfortable or safe at all during the first night. All I could think of was ‘why did I spend all that money to fly over here if I could have just gone back to Tofo in the first place?’. My plan was to visit Bazaruto island the next day and leave asap, but the weather the next day was bad, forcing me to stay longer. And you know what? The following days changed my first impression completely. I met people who made me feel comfortable and safe, and I only left Vilanculos on the fourth day because I found a free ride back to Tofo.

Bazaruto Island, Mozambique (Sept, 2018)

What do you miss most about home?

This is such a tricky question! First, because I struggle to define ‘home’. I understand it as a place that gives me a sense of belonging, and I don’t really feel that I belong to where I come from. I have that ‘belonging’ feeling when I’m on the move, meeting new people, new cultures, new places. But if I think about what I miss the most about my native country, it gotta be pão de queijo, coxinha, and fresh juices. (Mom, I miss you too).

Are you happy? Would you rather lead other lifestyle?

I am VERY happy, and anyone who looks at pictures of myself before and after September 2016 will notice how happier and healthier I am today. Not that I wasn’t happy before, I was. It’s just that I always fought against this need to be on the move. I always tried to put myself in that box that my upbringing tried to impose over me: a job, get married, buy a house, have kids and a dog, and a nice car. In other words, live a ‘stable’ life in one specific place.

Do I get tired? Of course I do. But if I get tired I find a way to rest, to recharge, so I can keep on moving, and being happy.

Do you miss Coco?

Look at her! Who wouldn’t?

Travel notes – Laos

Wow… how hard it is to write about the country that stole my heart…

It was easier to write a Love Letter to Laos than to write about the places I visited during almost 3 months there. The moment I started listing places I’ve been to, people I’ve met, things I’ve done, food I’ve eaten, saudade hit me, and hit me hard. And for more than a month I procrastinated and postponed this post – the first part of my travel notes on Laos.

Hard to explain how and why, but I’ll never forget Delilah’s key lime pie and sunset in Nong Khiaw; the winding roads leading to Xamtai and the amazing weaving work I saw there; the caves in Viangxay; my first sunset on the ❤ Mekong ❤ in Thakhek; Bang Fei Cave in the company of the French who meditate; a bungalow, a hammock, and the best hashbrown ever in Don Det, at Mama Mon’s Guesthouse; the ❤ Mekong ❤ and my “secret” beach in Don Khone; waterfalls in the Bolaven Plateau; Captain Hook and all-you-can-know about coffee; visa runs to Thailand (and not from Thailand, as it usually goes); hangover after meeting the South Africans in Vientiane; duck love 60km North of Vang Vieng; Secret Pizza in Luang Prabang; and the slow goodbye going up the Mekong towards Thailand.

There are so many things to write about Laos. So many things other than simple travel notes. Feelings, flavors, colors, faces, roads, valleys, mountains, rivers. But for now: travel notes.

My itinerary was as shown below.

Vietnam >> Muang Khua > Muang Ngoi > Nong Khiaw > Xamneua (via Viengthong) > Viengxay > Xamtai > Viengxay/Xamneua > Phonsavanh > Thakhek > Thakhek loop > [visa run 1] > Pakse > Don Det/Don Khone > Pakse/Champasak/Don Ko > Thakhek > [visa run 2] > Vientiane > Vang Vieng > Ban Chieng (Tao Guesthouse) > Luang Prabang > Huay Xay >> Thailand [In bold the places I’m going to cover for now].

Laos – Part I

I entered Laos from Vietnam. Took a bus in Lao Cai to Dien Bien Phu and from there a minibus to Muang Khua. The border crossing was ok. The visa for Brazilians cost US$30 plus small fees at the border that add to about US$6. Everyone needs a photography. Visa is valid for 28 days. To get a new visa all you need to do is to cross the border (in my case to Thailand) or ask for an extension at the police department (not everywhere, but for sure in Pakse, Luang Prabang, Vientiane); extension costs US$2/day plus admin fees. If the plan is to stay another month in Laos, the best option is a visa run. Or two. Or three 😉

I) Muang Khua – Muang Ngoi – Nong Khiaw

>>> Muang Khua is a small village and most people stop there on the way from/to Northern Vietnam. I didn’t do anything special there but heard there are nice walks and hikes to hill tribes. In Muang Khua my love for sticky rice started…

>>> Muang Ngoi is a small village at the riverbank of the Nam Ou (Ou River). From Muang Khua we took a boat (120k kip each) and the journey took approximately 3 hours. The boat leaves when it’s full or you have to pay for chartering it, which can be quite expensive if traveling on a budget. Tip: if you’re the first one on the pier, you’re probably getting a higher price for the ticket. Get there and wait for other people before inquiring about the price.

Muang Ngoi is lovely. Great place to stay for a few days and just relax. There are hikes to local villages where there are homestays as cheap as 10k kip/person. Guesthouses around the village vary from 50-80k kip/person or room. Negotiate and you’ll get a good deal.

The Chinese are building a dam upstream and the project includes a road that will connect Muang Ngoi to other towns in the area. I believe it will impact the peaceful and car-less atmosphere.

>>> The boat from Muang Ngoi to Nong Khiaw leaves around 8:30am and takes 1.5 hour.

In Nong Khiaw Laos started to steal my heart… I didn’t know it yet.

My favorite place to stay is also where I had the best key lime pie in SE Asia: Delilah’s Cafe. Karen and I offered to help with designing a new menu and were honored by having a pictured of us hanging on the wall 🙂 Let me know if you find it!

What a hard task to put together a new menu with pictures of the delicious dishes prepared by Miss Lie! We had to order the ones we didn’t have a picture yet… and eat! Oh, oh… there goes my healthy diet based on Vietnamese Pho… The highlight of the menu? KEY-LIME PIE! The.Best.Pie in SE Asia! I mean it. Really mean it.

Harps, who manages Delilah’s, also runs Tiger Trails and is a live information desk – he hates it, but it’s true. He knows everything about bus schedules, things to do and see, etc. Tiger Trails organizes tours to the main attractions in the area, including the 100 waterfall. Stop by and spare a few minutes chatting with this unique New Zealander. At first he might seem a bit crazy… but hey! who isn’t?! You can trust his recommendations 100%.

I didn’t do any of the tours despite staying in Nong Khiaw for 6 days – original plan: 2-3 – but I did check out the viewpoint across the bridge to watch the sunset. The view is beautiful! The hike is steep and took me a bit more than 1 hour. If going for the sunset don’t forget to bring a headlamp with you. The trail is pretty closed by vegetation and can be dark even if the sun is not 100% gone. I saw people taking sleeping bags and planning to stay at the viewpoint overnight so they could watch the sunrise. It’s an option – not sure if an officially allowed one – for those who want to get sunset and sunrise but don’t want to hike up twice.

Other places to eat and stay in Nong Khiaw: crossing the bridge there are two Indian restaurants that serve cheap and very good food (Deen and Chennai). No need to feel bad for choosing one over the other; it turns out it’s all in the same family. I preferred the food at Chennai and loved the mint-lime shake at Deen. If in doubt, try both. For accommodation, there are plenty of bungalows with hammock and river view.

I had no idea where to go after Nong Khiaw. First I thought of going northwest to Luang Namtha, near the border with Myanmar, cause the original plan was to cross to Thailand in Thakhek – so it made sense to explore the North before heading South. Karen wanted to go to Luang Prabang, but I didn’t feel like going to a “big” city just yet. What to do? Where to go next? Maybe stay longer in Nong Khiaw? I could definitely do that until I met Remigio, a Mexican visiting Laos to learn more about the country’s silk and weaving. Oh… did I say weaving? Yes… and Remigio pointed me to the Northeastern part of Laos, to Xamtai to be more exact, saying the village was known for having the best silk and weaving in the whole country.

That was it! So we headed East!

[NOTE] >>>> You can also go to Phonsaly, going north on Nam Ou (Ou River). I didn’t go but heard it has some interesting hikes and hill tribes to visit,

II) Viengthong – Xamneua – Viengxay – Xamtai >> from Nong Khiaw you can take a bus on a loooong journey to Viengthong where there’s a national park where you can see – if really, really lucky – tigers. I only spent the night in Viengthong (at a guesthouse at the bus station) to break the journey to Xamneua in 2. The ride was very bumpy, winding and I dont know how people can do it in just 1 day! If you get carsick, make sure you have plenty of Dramin pills with you. Also, be aware that the locals get really – really – carsick, so be prepared to having people throwing up in plastic bags next to you. (sorry… was this comment gross? well, if you plan to travel by bus/mini-bus/van in Vietnam and Laos, you’d better get used to it – also to peeing wherever the driver stops as bathroom breaks don’t usually include bathrooms)

Most people go to Viengthong and continue to Phonsavanh instead of Xamneua.

>>> Xamneua is just a stop for people traveling to/from Vietnam (there’s another border crossing near, could be another option for you). It’s still interesting, but I wouldn’t spend too much time there. NOTE*** if you plan to head to Viengxay, you should take a tuktuk as soon as you get to Xamneua bus station to the other station (it’s far to walk!). Last bus to Viengxay leaves around noon if I remember correctly. You can also take a taxi, but it will be more expensive (150k kip).

Because I was hungry when we arrived in Xamneua, I couldn’t think clearly and was very irritated by the tuk tuk drivers who approached us. I wanted food. That’s all I could think of. Only after finding some sticky rice, we realized the bus to Viengxay left from another station. And we walked, and walked, and walked.

And when we got there, there were no more buses. Luckily we were able to get a ride with a Chinese who’s working in Laos. It was probable the most comfortable road trip we had during all our time in the country. The car was clean, silent, the ac worked, the driver was not “crazy”.

>>> Viengxay is known by the caves where the Lao government hid and operated from 1964-1973, when the country was heavily bombed by the US. Yes… Laos suffered intense bombing during the Vietnam war, even though it was never on war against the US. Still today there are thousands of UXOs (unexploded ordnances) in Lao lands, which prevent the land to be worked and still cause many fatalities.

When in Viengxay, you should visit the caves and learn more about the history behind the bombings. In order to do that, you’ll need a guide (they keep the keys to the caves, so you can’t visit them by yourself). Book your tour at the tourist center. It’s worth visiting, and the visit takes around 2-3 hours.

For food, there’s also a good Indian restaurant in town, called Sabaidee Odisha. Try the Uttapam!

>>> Xamtai is the weaving village Remigio told me about. It was quite an adventure to get there. It’s far. It’s cold. Nobody speaks English. Nobody really understands why two farang want to get there. But the weaving… ah… it’s just AMAZING! I felt the language barrier while visiting Xamtai. I wanted to ask so many questions about the silk farming, the weaving techniques, the history and tradition behind the patterns… But I couldn’t find an English speaker (only weeks after I left, I learned there’s one person at the Culture/Tourism center who speaks English and is keen in showing around).

I left Xamtai with plans to go back. Maybe to stay longer, maybe learn from the weavers. That’s for sure a place I’ll go back to.

III) After Xamtai, we finally started to make our way South, through Phonsavanh, the place where the Plain of Jars are located – archeological sites with huge jars that nobody really knows how/why they got there. If you’re into archeology, you should check it out. Another must see while in town in the MAG UXO visitor center, with videos and photos about the period when Laos was bombarded by the US, and the challenges the country still faces due to existing UXOs.

In Phonsavanh we stayed at Janeeda Guesthouse, and were stuck there one day more than planned because buses to Thakhek only run every other day. And once on our way to Thakhek I opened another chapter of my love for Laos. Soon I would meet, for the first time, the ❤ Mekong ❤

[more about Southern Laos and then my way North again pretty soon!]

Por que você viaja?

Foi a pergunta feita pelo meu parceiro de remadas, num caiaque perto da ilha de Cat Ba, no norte do Vietnam. Diante do meu silêncio, ele insistiu “Rita, por que você viaja? Qual a sua razão para isso?”

Eu estava sentada na parte de trás e ele não conseguia ver meu rosto – meus olhos de um lado para o outro, tentando encontrar a resposta escondida em algum lugar do meu cérebro. Depois de mais uns minutos em silêncio eu respondi “Ótima pergunta! Eu não sei…”

Eu fui honesta. Nunca pensei ou busquei a razão pela qual eu viajo. Para mim, viajar sempre foi algo mais do que natural. Sempre achei que fosse o meu sangue espanhol, meio cigano. Eu cresci numa família que acha que a ideia de férias perfeitas é dirigir o máximo de quilômetros possíveis durante as férias, fossem 3 dias, 3 semanas, 3 meses ou 3 anos.

Nós continuamos remando, e eu continuei na busca pelo porquê. “Para conhecer novos lugares e culturas? Para ver paisagens diferentes? Para provar novas comidas? Ter novas experiências? Conhecer pessoas?”

“Eu não sei”, eu repeti em voz alta. E eu realmente não sabia.

Por muitas semanas essa pergunta ficou me perturbando. Comecei a perguntar para pessoas ao meu redor. Cada um com uma resposta diferente e eu ainda sem a minha. Até que um dia, enquanto dirigia entre paredões de calcário e observava a mudança de cores no céu antes do por do sol, a resposta veio: eu viajo porque viajar me faz viver o hoje. Porque viajar me mantem no presente.

Viajar me permite viver e focar no presente como nunca antes.

Quanto tempo eu gastei nesses meus 30+ anos pensando sobre o passado! Nas coisas que eu fiz ou disse, nas coisas que não fiz ou não disse; nas coisas que eu poderia ou deveria ter feito diferente.

Quanto tempo eu gastei pensando no futuro! O que eu vou fazer? Onde vou estar? Relacionamentos baseados em “deixa eu ver como você vai ser daqui a um tempo para poder decidir se vale mesmo a pena investir nessa relação” me fizeram perder tanto tempo presente. Sempre esperando por algo melhor, por um futuro que nunca chegou.

Nós tendemos a gastar nosso tempo pensando no passado e no futuro e acabamos por viver o presente como um ponto de transição entre o ontem e o amanhã. Não prestamos atenção ao que estamos fazendo agora porque não abraçamos o agora.

Viajando eu encontrei uma forma de viver o presente, um dia por vez.

As pessoas me perguntam como eu passo meus dias. Bem, eu acordo, tomo banho, decido o que vou comer de café da manhã e o que vou fazer com meu dia. Visitar atrações turísticas, trabalhar, escrever, andar sem rumo, ficar deitada na rede. Eu faço uma escolha e desfruto. Se decido trabalhar, eu sei que vou passar horas em frente do computador ao invés de explorar cavernas, cachoeiras, ou me locomover para o próximo destino. Eu decido e abraço minha escolha. Eu não me julgo se escolho fazer nada. Às vezes, “nada” é tudo o que preciso. Às vezes, o que preciso é me jogar na estrada, pegar um ônibus local que leva horas e mais horas para chegar no próximo destino.

Claro que eu penso sobre o futuro. Para onde essa experiência vai me levar? O que eu vou fazer com todas essas coisas que tenho aprendido sobre o mundo, e sobre eu mesma? A questão é que eu não foco apenas no futuro. Viajar me força a tomar decisões hoje, agora, no presente.

Você pode estar pensando “Ah, mas é fácil falar quando você está vivendo desse jeito, conhecendo lugares e pessoas diferentes a cada dia. Fácil quando você não tem que estar num escritório de segunda a sexta.” É verdade que eu não tenho uma vida de escritório, mas isso não significa que não tenho uma rotina e meus rituais diários. Não significa que eu não questiono minhas escolhas ou tenho dúvidas sobre o caminho que escolhi. Não significa que eu não tenho responsabilidades para comigo mesma ou com os outros. Mas o meu processo de tomada de decisão está baseado no presente.

Quando encontro pessoas novas, eu me permito apreciar e aproveitar as curtas ou longas conversas. É provável que eu nunca veja essas pessoas, por isso eu me permito estar presente e apreciar o momento.

O mesmo se aplica às mudanças na paisagem. Nenhuma foto é capaz de capturar a beleza de se observar as mudanças de relevo, cores e aromas de um lugar ao outro. De montanhas para vales, de rios para o mar, da brisa gelada ao calor sem brisa. Se não me permitir sentir tudo isso, como poderei falar sobre isso?

Por que eu viajo?

Para viver o presente; para no futuro contar histórias sobre o meu passado.

E você? Por que você viaja?

Why do you travel?

Was the question my kayaking partner asked me while rowing somewhere near Cat Ba island, in Northern Vietnam. I stayed quiet and he asked again “Rita, why do you travel? What’s your reason for it?”

I was in the back seat and he couldn’t see my face – my eyes going from side to side, trying to look inside my brain in search for something to say. From me he only got a long silence before “That’s a good question! I don’t really know…”

I was honest. I never really thought about the reason behind it. Traveling for me has always been something natural. I blame it on my Spanish-gypsy blood. For my family the idea of a perfect vacation involves driving as many kilometers as possible in whatever number of days you have off – 3 days, 3 months, 3 years.

As we continued rowing I asked myself “To visit different places and cultures? To see different landscapes? To try different food? Have new experiences? Meet new people?” “I don’t know”, I said again. And I really didn’t.

For many weeks, the question was stuck in my mind. I started asking people around me, they had different reasons, and I still couldn’t find mine. Until one day, I was driving amongst limestone walls and appreciating the changing colors of a pre-sunset sky, and voilà: I travel because it makes me experience today. Because traveling keeps me in the present.

Traveling allows me to live, experience, and focus on the present as I’ve never done before.

How much time I have spent thinking about the past! Things I’ve done or said, things I haven’t, things I should or could have done differently.

How much time I have spent thinking about the future! What am I going to do? Where am I going to be? Past relationships based on “let me see how you’re going to be next so I can decide if you’re good for me or not” made me waste so much present time, always waiting for something better, for a future that never came.

We tend to spend so much time thinking about the past and the future, that we live the present as a transition point, not as the present. We don’t really pay attention to what we are doing now because we are not embracing now.

Traveling I found a way of living the present, one day at a time.

People ask me what my days are like. I wake up, have a shower, decide what I’m having for breakfast and how I want to spend my day. Sightseeing, working, writing, just walking around or laying in a hammock. I make a decision and enjoy it. If I decide to do some work I know I’m choosing to spend a couple of hours in front of the computer instead of seeing waterfalls or caves, or moving to another place. I make the decision and embrace it. I don’t judge myself for doing “nothing” in a city with so many things to do and see. Sometimes all I need is “nothing”, sometimes I feel like taking a local bus and spending hours on bumpy winding roads just to get somewhere new, where I can wake up and decide how I want to spend my day, all over again.

Off course I think about the future. Where am I going from here? What am I going to do with all the new things I’m learning from this incredible journey. But I do not focus only on the future. Traveling forces me to make present decisions.

One might think “Oh, it’s easy for you, you’re living the life, meeting new people, seeing new places. You’re not stuck in an office five days a week.” Yes, I’m not, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have a routine and daily rituals. Doesn’t mean I don’t question my decisions or have doubts about them. But the way my decision making process works is based on the present.

When I meet new people I let myself appreciate and enjoy the short or long conversations I have with them, people I’ll probably never see again. I allow myself to be present, to appreciate the moment.

Same applies to watching the changes in landscape. No pictures can capture the beauty of noticing the changes of scenery from one place to another, from mountains to valleys, from rivers to the sea, from cold breeze to a steam hot air. If I don’t allow myself to feel it, how will I ever be able to talk about it?

Why do I travel? To live the present so in the future I can tell stories about my past.

Why do you travel?

“There are only two days in the year when nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”

(Dalai Lama)

Travel notes – Vietnam

Part II

(Part I here)

We arrived in Hanoi on Christmas Eve, on a full train coming from Ninh Binh. We spent the trip chatting with a smiley 9 years-old girl and her family. Everyone going to Hanoi for the weekend.

It was the first time since Livia joined me that we were not attacked by tuk tuk and taxi drivers on the way out of the train station. Point for Hanoi! From there we took a bus (more points to Hanoi!) and walked a few blocks to get to our hostel (Old Quarter View Hanoi), in the heart of the Old Quarter. All we needed after getting settled was to find a place to have our Christmas dinner and enjoy the French wine we bought in Hue.

Just like the other places we visited, we walked, walked and walked around Hanoi. Well, not really “around” Hanoi; maybe around the Old Quarter is a better description of the area we covered. From the hostel to the lake. Around the lake. Back to the hostel. Back to the lake.

It was interesting to see how the Vietnamese people use the public space on weekends. The streets around the lake were closed for cars and bikes, and were packed with people; mostly families with kids. They organize games such as tug of war, jumping rope, and crafts. In addition to the games, many Christmas decorations, lights and this song everywhere [play at your own risk] – even though only 8% of the population is Christian (Vietnam is one of the least religious countries in the world where 73% of the population declare themselves irreligious).

In Hanoi we visited the Hoa Lo Prison, also known as Hanoi Hilton by the American prisoners kept there during the Vietnam War. And we tried to visit the Ho Chi Ming Museum and the Citadel. “Tried” because we picked the wrong days to go to each of them. Sunday and Monday respectively. They were closed. (If you go to Hanoi, go to the Citadel on Sunday and vice-versa).

Graduation

Ho Chi Ming Museum

View from above

Window view

Also in Hanoi I saw a friend who I met in 2010, in Berkeley, CA. I remembered Dang as this funny guy who thought us a funny warm up exercise to keep us awake throughout the day, despite all the party from the night before. He picked us up at the hostel and took us out for dinner. “No snakes, Dang, I’m not ready for that”, “Chicken, then”. And this is how we tried the traditional black chicken from Vietnam. We were skeptical at first, but pretty amazed by the taste after we tried (until I found the chicken’s head in my bowl and had to covered it to continue eating. Still: delicious). Dang also took is for a coffee with view to the lake we had circled a couple of times. We laughed a lot and had a great time with the Vietnamese hospitality. Thank you Dang!

On December 27^th Livia left and I took a bus to Cat Ba island [200K VND], northeast of Hanoi. No goodbyes because neither of us like goodbyes; but also because I didn’t want to think how my next days would be without her. I’d be traveling alone after a month.

I ended up in Cat Ba for a few reasons; rock climbing one of the (i.e. the great time I spent in Tonsai, Railay). There I stayed at Mr. Zoom’s (5 USD room with private bathroom), who also owns Cat Ba Climbing.

Climbing shoes on a boat?

Monkey Island “summit”

Floating village, Cat Ba

Private beach, Ha Lang Bay

On the way to Halong

View from the top, Cat Ba

Ha Lang Bay

The island is a great place to take a break from the busy Hanoi or the touristy Hoi An. And it was all I was looking for: sea, mountain, rock climbing, nice people, and the best Pho Bo I had in Southeast Asia. At first I thought I’d stay 3-4 days there, and ended up staying 6 days, and celebrating the New Year playing pebolim with a group of Italian, Dutch, Mozambican, German, and a Brazilian from Sao Paulo who knows people from the climbing gym I used to go to.

In Cat Ba, I strongly recommend rock climbing. Talk to Mr. Zoom or the super helpful people from Asia Outdoors, and ask about the climbing areas (an entrance fee is charged) and/or deep water soloing (DWS). Take a boat trip too (14USD) – unless you go DWS, because you kind of see the same things – and get the impressive and scenic landscape of Vietnam take your breath away. You can also hike to a view point, on the way to hidden valley, where you have an amazing 360 degrees view of the island.

After staying almost a week and starting the new year surrounded by the sea (literally) and good people, I took a bus to Hai Phong (140K VND) and from there to Cao Bang (260K VND) This time with another travel partner: the Brazilian of Japanese descent.

I’m not really sure how we chose Cao Bang. We had no idea what we would do there, but we went anyways. The bus dropped us off at 4am and we walked about 2km to the hostel owned by a lovely Vietnamese family who, despite not speaking English, were great hosts. It was the first time in Vietnam when I felt like “the different” one, mainly because of my height – and traveling with a Brazilian Japanese doesn’t make me less tall.

We walked around town, enjoyed great Vietnamese coffee, and rented a bike to visit Bang Gioc, a waterfall (40K VND) located at the border with China. As in Cat Ba, my breath was taken away by the scenic limestone formations, this time joined by winding roads and rice fields.

Bang Gioc waterfall and China across the river

Bang Gioc waterfall

Paparazzi

Favortie street food: corn and sweet potato

Look! China!

From Cao Bang we started a bus adventure to Ha Giang. We left on a van at 5:30 am and arrived 12 hours later, changing to a mini-bus in Bao Lam (120K + 80K VND). The roads were bad because of the rain. Still worth it.

Ha Giang was my alternative destination to Sa Pa, where most of the tourism in Northern Vietnam is, and I was happy with the decision to go there instead. We stayed at Kiki’s House Hostel where we also rented a bike. There I finally completed my process of falling in love with Northern Vietnam.

A house in the mountain

China!

Mountains and Valleys

Lung Cu

This view… ❤

ops!

Modeling in Lung Tam

Ha Giang loop

I can’t find words while writing here to express the beauty of the Ha Giang loop. The mountains, valleys, colors, people, rice fields, roads. Just: astonishing. And cold, so take your winter jacket and/or windproof with you.

Must see/visit in the Ha Giang loop:

Lung Cu – the most northern point in Vietnam, from where you can see China!

Street Market. I was there on the weekend and went to two Sunday markets (in Dong Van and Meo Vac). It is nice to see the people on their best clothes, carrying their best products ranging from rice to cattle, from corn to huge pigs. Women wearing very colorful outfits, while men were mainly wearing black.

Lung Tam – impressive weaving and dying techniques

We were lucky that in the only moment we were hesitant to take a right or left, a local guide told us to follow him. We took the left then.[1] We then took a newly open road through the valley, with spectacular views of the mountains playing hide and seek with the sun.

Back in Ha Giang we took a day off before moving towards Laos, where I fell in love. My Vietnam visa was going to expire in 2 days and I didn’t want to risk dealing with the officials at the border. At 5:30 am we got on a mini-bus to Lao Cai (130K VND, arrives at noon). From there another bus at 5:30pm to Dien Bien (215K VND), and from there 6am to Muang Khua (120K VND in Laos.

[1] When in doubt, always left!

Travel notes – Cambodia

I made my way to Cambodia from Bangkok, where I met a friend who came to SE Asia to spend her vacation with me. We took a flight in BKK and landed in Siem Reap 50 minutes later (Nok Air, USD55). It’s possible to do it by bus or train, you just need to be aware of the visa and border-crossing scams at the border. More about Poipet famous’ scams here. Because we spent more time in Bangkok than previously planned[i], the flight seemed a better option for us.

Siem Reap is a lively city with its economy based on the tourism around Angkor Wat. It’s quite busy, but nothing compared to Bangkok. Despite being pretty touristy, it’s the #1 “must visit” place in Cambodia, and I’d add, in SE Asia. Lonely Planet features Angkor Wat as #1 travel destination, and most people go to Cambodia only because of the temples. That (temples, not LP) was also the main reason we wanted to visit Cambodia.

We spent 4 days there. First day was a rest day – to recover from all the walking around Bangkok and to plan our visit to the temples. The ticket is not cheap and there’s talk around town that it will increase significantly in 2017. In December 2016 it cost USD20/1day and USD40/3days. I don’t think 1 day is enough to see everything.

We visited most of the temples in Angkor complex + three others located 30-40km away from the city. We were speechless most of the time. Personally, I’m not sure if I found Bagan more impactful. The style is very different and I keep thinking whether it would change my impression if I had visited Angkor Wat first. I really don’t know. Still, there were moments where my jaw would literally drop.

Ta Phrom, for example, is magical. All those trees hugging the ruins in such a delicate way, as if they were put there at the same time. The silence… well, silence until the arrival of hordes of Chinese – IMPORTANT: get there as early as possible! And don’t stress too much about the Chinese. They do outnumber everyone else and stressing about their loudness, selfie-sticks, and lack of “simancol” won’t change the way they behave and will just ruin your day.

We chose to do the long circuit first (on our 2^nd day) and leave the short circuit, which include Angkor Wat, for the following day. On the 3^rd day we visit the Lady Temple, a tiny but extremely impressive building with incredible details everywhere you look. So delicate and so powerful at the same time.

Siem Reap is definitely more expensive than other places in the country. If you get there from outside the country, you might have an impression that things are pretty cheap. Hold your consuming impulses though and buy your scarfs in Battambang or Phnom Penh instead.

You can visit the temples by bycicle, motorbike, tuk tuk, car/van/bus, but we didn’t even consider the latter. It’s a great feeling to feel the wind in your face while moving from one temple to another – and it’s also a nice way to recharge and get ready for more walking around ruins.

We found a nice tuk tuk driver and decided to stick with him during our stay. It was great. He had a really good vibe. He was so nice that – our mistake – we didn’t realize he was adding things to what was agreed and would charge for it later. So, as a piece of advice, you don’t need to change drivers if you like the first one, but don’t forget to agree on the price before you leave for the day and ask him over and over again if what he’s suggesting is included in the previous agreement. I know, I know, very basic thing, won’t happen again (so I hope).

Food: we rediscovered the meaning of “fresh fruit juice” with creamy and incredibly tasty smoothies for USD1. *** avocado + passionfruit is an awesome combination! I also loved Nom Krok, a rice-coconut pancake (gluten-free!) that you find everywhere.

Before heading to Phnom Penh, Cambodia’s capital, we decided to visit Battambang. Capitol Tours sells tickets for USD4.5 if you buy at their office (~1km from the old market). Hotels sell it for USD6-8. Important: call to confirm pick up from your hotel if you buy the ticket directly with the company. They “forgot” us and we heard it was not the first time it happened. Luckily our host called them and thanks to the delayed departure we were still able to catch it.

Battambang is the 2^nd largest city in Cambodia but it feels like a small town in the countryside. It was founded in the 11^th century by the Khmer empire.

It was a nice surprise after busy Siem Reap and before even busier Phnom Penh. In Battambang we rented a bike and rode along the river. Every kid in town would wave to us and say hello. When passing in front of a school where kids were going home we almost caused an accident because they’d look at us instead of at the traffic!

“Hello, bye-bye” was our motto in Battambamg.

Food: Domlong An or Noum Domlong Barang. Delicious sweet potato cakes for only 500 riel (USD 0.12)

From Battambang we took a bus (USD5) to Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, situated on the Mekong River bank.

It was the first time we were shocked with the traffic and amount of motorcycles (it was certainly an anticipation to Ho Chi Minh/Saigon in Vietnam, but that’s another post…). It was also the first time we hated the place where we stayed and maybe it influenced the way we visited the city. Yes, there were better options but they were also more expensive; we just stayed out for as long as we could so we’d fall sleep as soon as possible.

The Royal Palace (USD6.50 > price will increase to USD10 in January 2017) deserves a visit according to Livia. I didn’t go inside but she loved – and I trust her, so you should go 🙂

On our last day in Phnom Penh we rented a bike and drove to Choeung Ek (USD6), a killing field during the Khmer Rouge regime, in the 1970s. It’s a very disturbing place. I felt a peaceful atmosphere in the area but then, listening to the stories of atrocities that happened there… it’s so sad to realize what the human being is capable of. It was the first place in Cambodia where I witnessed total silence among visitors (including the Chinese!).

From Phnom Penh we bought a bus ticket with Mekong Express to Ho Chi Minh, in Vietnam, for USD12. The trip took us about 7 hours.

It was a short visit to Cambodia and I’m sure there are many other interesting things to do there. What we could notice is that people are extremely friendly, food is similar to Thai food in many ways, and the Khmer culture is present everywhere we visited. For next time we’d love to visit the mountains and the coast. One more thing for next time… I guess I’m never leaving SE Asia 😉

PS-You can pay pretty much everything in American Dollars throughout Cambodia.

[i] Because I had to get my visa to Vietnam and thought that it would be easier at the Vietnamese Embassy in BKK – oh, make laugh! First I tried in Yangon, Myanmar, and they wanted to charge USD70 for the visa. I knew it should be cheaper so I tried BKK… but no. They wanted to charge me USD61. I ended up getting my visa in Siem Reap, Cambodia, through an agency recommended by the guesthouse where we stayed. I paid USD41 and got the visa on the same day. I had no problems getting into Vietnam with it.

As incertezas do mundo

Ou seria: um mundo de incertezas? Porque do jeito que a coisa anda, não dá mais para saber o que vai ser daqui pra frente; e não importa se você está no Brasil, nos EUA, ou aqui no sudeste asiático.

Há dois meses eu estava entrando num avião com destino à Ásia, sem saber ao certo qual seria meu itinerário ou quanto tempo eu ficaria.

No começo de novembro eu cheguei em Myanmar (Birmânia), ansiosa para viajar por esse país tão fascinante.

Dois dias depois que cheguei em Myanmar, teve eleição para presidente dos EUA.

No dia seguinte à eleição, toda a minha empolgação por estar num país tão exótico cedeu lugar ao silêncio e a descrença. Eu fiquei muda por horas enquanto seguia o resultado da votação que acabou elegendo Donald Trump.

Eu sei que ninguém mais aguenta ler sobre o Trump. Eu escrevi um pouquinho mais sobre isso na versão em inglês desse post, e para quem quiser saber o que eu acho (em inglês) é só clicar aqui e ler a primeira parte do texto.

Para além das incertezas que rodeiam os EUA e o mundo como um todo, minha vinda para Myanmar me apresentou um país que também se encontra num momento de indefinições.

Myanmar é um país numa encruzilhada. Não acho que existe descrição melhor. É um país com imenso potencial de desenvolvimento econômico, social e político, que patina ao lidar com décadas de governo militar e com uma democracia frágil e que ainda engatinha de tão nova que é.

Durante as 4 semanas que passei no país, eu visitei as animadas e barulhentas Yangon e Mandalay; a capital do estado de Kachin, Myitkyina; fiz o trekking the Kalaw para Inle Lake; fui até a maravilhosa e mágica Bagan; e visitei a cidade onde morou o escritor inglês George Orwell, Mawlamyine.

Eu não segui um roteiro muito lógico… Acabei me planejando conforme a disponibilidade e agenda dos amigos que estão por aqui. Afinal de contas, não é muito mais legal poder visitar a região com um amigo que é local? Ou ir a um casamento tradicional, para o qual a sua amiga foi convidada? Assim, dessa vez eu preferi ir onde as pessoas estavam, mesmo que isso significasse longas distâncias e muitas horas me locomovendo de um lugar a outro.

Esse meu planejamento sem lógica também contribuiu para aumentar o número de lugares a visitar na próxima vez que eu vier ao país: Putao, ao norte, olhando para a parte leste dos Himalaias; Sittwe, no estado de Rakhine, onde conflitos étnicos/religiosos têm acontecido frequentemente; Naypidaw, a capital fantasma do país – será uma Brasília do século XXI?; Dawei ao sul e as áreas de fronteira com a Tailândia.

Myanmar é, sem dúvida, um país para visitar. Está mudando e mudando rápido. Espero que mude para melhor, apesar de algumas pessoas com quem conversei não estarem tão otimistas.

As pessoas são elegantes e lindas em suas longas saias chamadas longyi. Eu amo, AMO homens usando longyis. Eles ficam tão charmosos! E as mulheres sempre elegantes combinando as cores das saias e das camisas; as roupas sempre ajustadas ao corpo, feitas sob medida. Eu não me lembro de ver gente obesa, mesmo com uma comida tão oleosa. Me disseram que óleo é sinal de riqueza na cultura local. Minha barriga reclamou um pouco… mas ainda assim não vi obesidade.

A paisagem me lembra muito o Brasil. O trajeto entre Mandalay e Bagan, e Bagan e Yangon, me transportou para o cerrado e suas veredas. Cidades como Yangon, Mandalay e Myitkyina me lembraram de cidades do norte e nordeste como Manaus, Belém e Fortaleza. Cachorros de rua, falta de calçada para pedestres, motoristas que aceleram ao invés de brecar quando notam que você está tentando atravessar a rua; pequenas coisas que me levaram de volta ao meu país natal.

As pessoas também têm algo de “brasileiras”; são super hospitaleiras e muito simpáticas com estrangeiros. Quando não são muito tímidas elas retornam o meu “mingalabar” – “oi” em Myanmar – e até puxam um papo e pedem para tirar uma foto comigo. Elas sempre se oferecem para ajudar quando eu pareço perdida, e isso fez com que eu encaresse meu próprio preconceito e bagagem pessoal, pois fico achando que vão me passar a perna, cobrar mais que o devido, ou me mandar para o lugar errado. Mas daí me lembro que aqui é Myanmar. Relaxo e saio rindo de mim mesma.

Algumas breves anotações de viagem (sorry, por enquanto apenas em inglês) sobre os lugares que visitei estão aqui.

O que eu vi e ouvi durante a minha estada em Myanmar só corroborou com a minha ideia inicial de que este é sim um país fascinante. Há ainda muitas áreas proibidas para estrangeiros por causa dos conflitos entre o exército (ligado ao governo, mas independente do poder executivo) e grupos armados e minorias étnicas. Atualmente, um dos conflitos de maior repercussão internacional acontece em Rakhine e envolve a minoria muçulmana.

Ao mesmo tempo que eu tenho um olhar do tipo “uau”, de curiosidade e excitação pelo simples fato de estar aqui, eu também carrego comigo a inquietação, intuição e olhar crítico de geógrafa. Não consigo parar de pensar que apesar de lindo esse é um país onde há muita tensão no ar e muita incerteza com relação ao futuro.

Nesse momento, com o que acontece em Rakhine, a incerteza é um tanto óbvia: como o governo democraticamente eleito em 2015 vai lidar com os conflitos atuais? Porque Aung Sang Suu Kyi, que ganhou o Prêmio Nobel da Paz, não se posiciona sobre esses conflitos?

Há também incertezas menos óbvias: será que as políticas postas em prática estão de fato contribuindo para um desenvolvimento efetivo e para a formação de uma sociedade justa e inclusiva?

Menos óbvio ainda, o que está por trás da forma com que o governo e o exército têm ocupado os territórios e, assim, expressado seu poder sobre ele?

No norte, no estado de Kachin, por exemplo, há um acampamento com famílias do sul do país. Elas foram levadas para lá pelo governo para trabalharem na instalação e manutenção de postes e linhas de transmissão de energia. Minha primeira pergunta foi “porque não contratar mão de obra local?”, “Boa pergunta!” respondeu meu tradutor. Para ele há uma estratégia “não-oficial” de colonização e ocupação de regiões como Kachin – onde 98% da população é Cristã. Vale lembrar que Myanmar é um país budista, e esses trabalhadores vindos do sul são todos budistas.

Numa outra ocasião, meu guia fez um comentário sobre “a necessidade de construir prédios cristãos no topo dos morros, porque os budistas estão se apropriando de todos os morros da região e construindo pagodas (templos) em todos eles.” Para uma geógrafa como eu isso é fascinante. É um claro exemplo de como o poder se expressa sobre o território. Eu tenho total consciência de que meu conhecimento sobre as dinâmicas e complexidades que envolvem política, religião e minorias étnicas em Myanmar ainda é bem pequeno, mas devo confessar que depois de ouvir esse comentário – que veio de uma forma tão natural e despretensiosa – eu passei a olhar a presença budista de uma forma diferente, com um pouco mais de desconfiança, até mesmo mais do que eu gostaria.

Essa inquietação e desconforto só fez aumentar minha vontade de aprender mais e mais sobre esse país, e de seguir de forma mais próxima como as atuais incertezas vão se desenrolar e impactar o desenvolvimento econômico, político e social. O processo pelo qual o país está passando me lembra muito o período pós-governos militares na América Latina. Vai ser interessante voltar para Myanmar daqui há alguns anos e ver qual o caminho que o país tomou.

Quer ver fotos? Clique aqui. Ou dê uma olhadinha lá no Instagram @literal.uncertainty

Respirando e vivendo Tailândia

Chegou novembro e com ele um sonho se torna realidade: eu vim parar em Myanmar! Mas ainda não é dessa vez que eu vou escrever sobre esse país que tem me fascinado nos últimos anos. Calma! Calma! Logo mais eu compartilho minhas impressões. Abaixo seguem alguns detalhes sobre minhas últimas semanas na Tailândia.

Como eu já falei anteriormente, eu tive muita sorte de ser “adotada” por uma família tailandesa que me ajudou na aclimatação cultural e culinária. Com eles eu passei minhas primeiras duas semanas. Desde que me despedi deles e de Phuket, visitei lindos lugares – mas ainda falta muita coisa para visitar na Tailândia e já estou planejando a volta e os próximos destinos por lá.

Quando você viaja por viajar, sem ter que estar num lugar específico, numa data específica, você acaba se permitindo passar períodos mais longos em cada um dos lugares que visita. Você se deixar levar pela velocidade, cultura e atmosfera local. E é exatamente isso que estou tentando fazer – claro que reconhecendo que o tempo que passo nesses lugares não está nem perto do ideal para assimilar o modo de vida local – e ainda por cima é bem óbvio que eu sou turista estrangeira por aqui (ou como diriam os tailandeses, farang).

Com a exceção de Ko Phi Phi – de onde eu saí correndo depois de passar 2 noites (uma delas em claro) – eu senti que poderia ficar mais e mais tempo em cada um dos lugares que visitei. Todos esses lugares me colocaram em contato com coisas que são muito importantes para minha vida e bem estar; coisas que eu gostaria de incorporar ao meu dia-a-dia. Racionalmente eu sei que não preciso estar nesses lugares para poder continuar escalando, meditando, praticando yoga, evitando carne e álcool; mas parece que essas coisas fluem com mais facilidade em determinados lugares. Taí algo para trabalhar e mudar daqui pra frente!

O primeiro desses lugares foi Tonsai – uma praia em Railay, Krabi, que é um paraíso da escalada em rocha. Lá eu me reconectei com a escalada e percebi, uma vez mais, o quanto esse esporte alimenta minha alma e me energiza. Mesmo estando fora de forma, mesmo meus braços e pernas não aguentando meu peso por muito tempo, mesmo com hematomas espalhados pelo meu corpo, eu me senti completa, plena, feliz de uma forma que só a escalada me faz – e que eu tinha, mais uma vez, esquecido.

Eu saí desse paraíso apaixonada. Apaixonada pela geologia e sua formação rochosa – sério, no meio de uma via eu virei para quem estava me fazendo segurança e perguntei se podia chorar, tamanha a beleza daquela rocha! Apaixonada pela energia de paz das marés alta e baixa. Apaixonada pelas almas lindas – umas mais que outras 😉 – que conheci por lá. Se não fosse por um dos únicos compromisso que eu assumi para essa viagem – um retiro de meditação em Ko Samui – eu acho que ainda estaria em Tonsai. Certamente voltaria para lá. Provavelmente vou voltar.

O retiro em Ko Samui começou no dia 20. Foram quase 7 dias de silêncio total, acordando às 4h30 e indo pra cama às 21h, apenas 2 refeições diárias, e muita meditação sentada e caminhando. Por mais difícil que tenha sido deixar Tonsai, eu sabia que algo muito interessante me aguardava. E estou estava certa.

Ainda rola muita incerteza no estágio em que me encontro nesse mundo da meditação. Eu não faço ideia quais as peças que minha mente e meu corpo vão me pregar; para onde minha mente vai perambular; como manter o foco na minha respiração quando meus pensamentos vagueiam por aí. Nesse sentido, a experiência de respirar, sonhar, andar, comer meditação por uma semana foi uma agradável surpresa. Enquanto tentava domar meus pensamentos e me concentrar no ar entrando e saindo pelo meu nariz, minha mente me levou para lugares imagináveis e inimagináveis. Eu tive visões – reais e psicodélicas, caí no sono durante as sessões de meditação, fiquei entediada, frustrada, fiz listas de coisas a fazer, e-mails a escrever, telefonemas. Até escrevi e-mails e cartões postais na minha cabeça!

Mas para a minha surpresa, a parte mais difícil não foi lidar com o silêncio e com a minha respiração. O mais difícil foi voltar para o mundo “real”, barulhento, cheio de carros e motos, cheio de opções de comida, de gente falando comigo e esperando uma resposta. Daí que a decisão de seguir para Ko Phangan e ficar hospedada num bungalow na praia (por U$4/noite), com um restaurante delicioso a 5 minutos de caminhada, e aulas gratuitas de yoga foi perfeita! E mais uma vez eu senti que poderia ficar por lá – Haas Chao Pao – por mais e mais tempo.

No entanto, tinha uma outra coisa já planejada – quem disse que eu não faço planos? Meu voo para Myanmar sairia de Bangkok e eu precisava começar a seguir para o norte.

No caminho para Tonsai conheci uma brasileira e passamos a viajar juntas. Acaba sendo bem mais em conta poder dividir as despesas – principalmente de acomodação – com mais alguém. Claro que é preciso dar sorte de encontrar alguém bacana. E esse foi o meu caso. Ela acabou se juntando a mim no retiro, onde conhecemos um russo – professor de yoga – que nos seguiu até Ko Phangan. De lá, nós três resolvemos ir juntos para Ko Tao, uma ilha pequena conhecida pela grande oferta de cursos de mergulho – e que, aparentemente, é um dos lugares mais baratos, no mundo, para aprender a mergulhar.

Mergulho, no entanto, ainda não é muito a minha praia. Então quando meus parceiros de viagem se inscreveram num curso de freediving eu decidi cair na estrada a caminho de Bangkok. Lá passei mais tempo com a Namsai, lavei – e sequei!!!! – minhas roupas e organizei minhas coisas seguir, finalmente, para Myanmar!

[Escrito em 08 de novembro de 2016, Yangon, Myanmar]

Breathing and living Thailand

[leia em Português]

Yangon, Myanmar – November 07, 2016

It’s November and a dream comes true: I made it to Myanmar! This post, however, is not about this country that I’ve been fascinated by, but the past few weeks I spent in Thailand. Hopefully on the next one I’ll be able to share some of my impressions on this intriguing place.

As mentioned previously, I was fortunate to spend my first two weeks with a Thai family, getting acclimatized to Thailand and learning the basics about Thai culture and food (so good!).

Since I left my adopted family in Phuket, I have visited a few places – but still far from seeing most of the country. When you travel for the sake of traveling, and don’t necessarily have to be in a specific location by a certain date, you allow yourself to spend longer periods of time here and there. You allow yourself to experience the local pace, its culture and atmosphere. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do, but I have to recognize it’s still not enough time to assimilate the local way of life – and I’m an obvious foreigner – farang – here.

With the exception of Ko Phi Phi – that I left after 2 nights – I felt like I could stay longer and longer on every other location I visited. Somehow, all the places exposed me to things that are important in my life, and that I’d like to do more often. Rationally I know it’s not a matter of place/location, I should be able to climb wherever I go, or meditate, or practice yoga, or avoid meat and alcohol; still it feels like certain places are more favorable than others to do so, and that’s something I’ve been trying to change during this journey.

The first place where I felt it in a powerful way was Tonsai, Railay, a climbing paradise where I reconnected with rock climbing and realized, once again, how climbing feeds my soul and energizes me. Even though I’m out of shape and my arms and legs can’t hold for long, even though I left with bruises all over my body, I felt complete, happy and fulfilled in a way climbing allows me to feel – and I had forgotten.

I also left this climbing paradise a bit in love. In love with the geology and rock formation. In love with the peaceful and calm vibe of the low and high tides. In love with the beautiful souls – some more than others 😉 – that I met there. If it wasn’t for one of the few ‘time and date’ plans I have during this trip – a meditation retreat in Ko Samui – I think I would still be in Tonsai. I could certainly go back. I’m probably going back.

The meditation retreat in Ko Samui started on the 20th. It consisted of almost 7 full days of silence, a 4:30am-9pm schedule, only 2 daily meals and tea, and sitting and walking meditation. As hard as it was to leave Tonsai I knew something pretty exciting was waiting for me. And I was right.

At the stage I am in the meditation world, it still involves a lot of uncertainty. I have no idea what kind of tricks my body and mind will play with me, where my mind will wander to, how to maintain the focus on my breath once it starts wandering. The experience of a week breathing, dreaming, walking, eating meditation was, to say the least, positively surprising. While trying to tame my thoughts and concentrate on the air coming in and out of my nose, my mind wandered to imaginable and unimaginable places. I had visions, I fell asleep during the sessions, I was bored, I was frustrated, I made lists of things to do, emails to write and people to call. I even wrote emails and postcards in my head.

But to my surprise the hardest part was not the silence or the mindful breathing. I pretty much enjoyed the challenge. The most difficult part was coming back to this loud and “real” world. It took me a few days to acclimatize again to people talking to me, to cars and motorbikes on the streets, to so many food options. So the idea to head to Ko Phangan after the retreat was just perfect. A bungalow on the beach, an awesome Thai restaurant 5 minutes away, free yoga sessions every morning. Again I felt like I could stay there – in Haad Chao Pao – for a long, long time. But the other thing I had planned was a trip to Myanmar and it was time to move and get closer to Bangkok, from where my flight to Yangon departed.

On my way to Tonsai I met a Brazilian girl who was also running away from Phi Phi. She joined me in the retreat and there we met a Russian guy – the yoga teacher – who followed us to Ko Phangan. The three of us ended up going to Ko Tao together, a small island known by the infinite offers of affordable diving courses – apparently it is one of the world’s cheapest places to learn how to dive.

Diving is still not my thing. Somehow I feel claustrophobic when wearing a mask and snorkel under water, I can’t even imagine a full scuba diving outfit. Maybe I’ll try it one day, but not yet. So when my travel buddies enrolled on a diving course I decided to make my way to Bangkok and spend time with Namsai, do my laundry – yay! clean and dry clothes again! – and organize my things to finally enter the fascinating world of Myanmar.

***

Dealing with uncertainty as I go – Not only my itinerary is uncertain, unexpected things also happen as I go and I have to find ways to deal with them without getting (too) upset. So far – knock knock on wood – the main thing that happened, forcing me to re-plan and rethink my already tight travel budget, had to do with technology and connectivity.

The last thing you want when traveling on a budget is your computer AND your phone to die. Well, that was exactly my case. First the computer in Phuket. Puff! One day it did not turn on anymore. Diagnosis: mother board. Dead. Thankfully there’s Dropbox! 🙏🏼

Then my phone died after we were caught on a heavy rain in Ko Phangan, on our way to Bottle Beach – northern part of the island. No, it did not fall in the sea, or in the toilet, or in the pool – so I told the technician who stared at me skeptically. It was rain. And it was gone. Forever.

I had to decide if I’d buy a new computer + a new phone – which I ended up doing – and how I’d recover this money so I can keep my previous travel plans. I still don’t have an answer to the latter, but as life already showed me many times before, I’m sure things will work out. (by the way, if I can do any freelance to anyone out there, let me know!)

Am I home?

TonSai, Railay Krabi – October 17, 2016

I find it fascinating how my mind works. I prepared myself to arrive in a place completely different from everything I am used to, but then… I was so wrong! Thailand is way more similar to Brazil than I initially thought.

After noticing that I expected something else – the different instead of similar – I spent time trying to find a rational explanation to why Thailand reminds me so much of places that were already familiar to me.

Is it the latitude?

Is it the Portuguese influence? (Phuket town has a strong Sino-Portuguese architectural influence)

Is it globalization?

What is it about Thailand that feels so homey?

While trying to find an answer to the sense of familiarity, I focused on exploring what is – for a fact – different. Which leads me to food.

OMG! Forget everything you know, or think you know, about Thai food. What you find here is a whole new advanced level. This is the real deal.

I spent the first 10 days tasting as many different flavors as I could. It was actually the perfect timing because I arrived right in time for the Vegetarian Festival – so for someone who can be picky about meat like me, the possibilities were infinite.

During the first days I indulged myself with all the flavors and smells.

Trying to pick favorites was a mission impossible.

Spicy, mild, not spicy. Sweet. Sour. White rice, brown rice, sticky rice, rice noodles. Fried noodle, fried rice, soup, clear soup, dark soup. Vegetable stew. Leaves. Fresh greens beyond Thai basil and lemongrass.

If someone out there ever heard me saying I could live on potatoes, forget it! I could live on Thai food. Four times a day. Seven days a week.

Have I mentioned the fruits? OMG! OMG! OMG!

Longan, Ngo, Mangosteen, Durian, even Guava and Sao Wat Lot (Passion Fruit) have a special taste here. I could easily – and actually I did it for a day or two – live on fruits.

For days all I did was eat, take pictures of food, and learn a few food-related words in Thai 🙂

Then, between meals and visits to the market, I realized why Thailand feels so familiar to me.

I come from a family where social gatherings always happen around food. And suddenly I found myself in Phuket island, being hosted by a Thai family who also gets together around a round kitchen table, three times a day. And the table is full of a wide range of choices to “chim”[i] at all times.

In addition to the food, they are warm, kind, always smiling. They made me feel so at home that if they weren’t speaking Thai I could be in South America.

The streets also remind me of Brazil. Street dogs. Unfinished road work everywhere. People on the sidewalks, talking to each other, being loud. If it weren’t for driving on the “wrong side of the road” I could swear I was in a Brazilian coastal town.

When I finally found an explanation to my sense of familiarity I relaxed and allowed myself to enjoy this beautiful and smiley country in a lighter way – without the need to understand it “tim tim por tim tim” and with less expectations. This approach is taking me to very interesting places and I’m sure this is only the beginning.

[i] Chim = taste/try in Thai

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